i cannot focus for shit. sometimes when im doing assignments, i find myself
staring at the screen for long periods of time. not even day dreaming.
just staring. & i know i have SO much to do. finals start like...tomarrow,
but i have no inclination to study anything. i dont care about passing
pre-calculas at this point. i dont care about lacing myself up in a cap & gown.
i don't care about the fact that debate nationals are next week (in Las Vegas)
& i have yet to start writing my cases for it. ive never been so apathetic in
my life. Maybe its because i've already been accepted to college? (WPU btw)
or maybe i just really dont give a fuck.

IDK, i have these stupid periods where i just stop caring about things
and start "living in the moment" whatever makes me happy, like
right now, i do. regardless of the consequences. like when i went to the
Portugeuese fest & got fucked up last weekend, even though i knew my
gaurdian ( foster mom, long story = ) was gonna have a bitch fit about me
coming in at 3am. and even though i had done NO work, that was due on
monday. somethings seriously wrong with me.. sometimes i'm just out
there i guess..

welp anyway..today was alright i guess. it was hot as all hell.
i wore some pink,gold,&brown plaid shorts, a black teeshirt, my hair up
in a sloppy ass bun. Me and chi wrote a paper about our ethics assignment
(it took us like 3 fuckin hours to write a page & a half mind you, lmaooo)
We had to do community service for our ethics final, take pictures or record
a video while doing it, and share our experience with the class on a poster
board or a website, etc etc. Instead me and Chi wrote a paper about how
it was unethical to use the experiences of other people just to get a grade
& how the class should encourage people to help others because it is good
in and of itself, not because you might personally gain from helping people
(i.e recieving money for it, or an A in a class) . the paper was good, i'll
probably post it later. but i BET hes gonna be highly upset when he gets
that shit tomarrow instead of a presentation. =] in other news, though,
im still annoyed about him.. but, i've been finding ways to occupy myself.
i wish my phone was back on.. i'd be texting away right now. i need to get
a job though anyway, i feel like a bum.


its not my fault tho, i just have the itis.